Once again, you try to scramble up from the ashes, reform the phoenix wings again out of a bit less ash than last time. Again. And again. You are tired from the fighting. You want someone else to take up the sword. But almost everyone else you know is also fighting, trying to survive.
Sometimes, it really seems like everything is stacked against you. Against many of us.
This is especially painful when you seek help, and one seemingly well-meaning person after another says the same word:
It's not so much the fact that you aren't going to get what you want or need. It's the way it is said, with almost a sing-songy lilt of a fairy godmother. But instead of being granted your wish, this fairy godmother brings you nothing but headaches and disappointment. And plenty of wasted time.
I was feeling pretty blue about all this stuff when a friend found 60 old songs and comedy sketches on his computer. Things I'd written probably two and a half decades ago and had all but forgotten. As I listened, I began to be transported back to a time when my life was far simpler, with all of the peace and innocence which comes with that. I found I had a smile plastered on my face, being transported back to when money seemed to always be in your pocket, time was limitless, pain was almost unheard of, and problems were few.
It's amazing how sometimes the songs of the past are the balm of your future. But you have no idea of their power at the time. You are just having a good time creating. You don't realize you are possibly creating tomorrow's medicine -- music that will contain answers, comfort, or maybe just a good laugh when you really need one.
Well, at least one of the few things that were plaguing me in that golden era of my life is now history. ;)