regrets

life's lunacy
will come and get ya sometime.
with a sickening and deafening whack
of razorsharp blades,
in an indecipherable tongue. 
butterfiles swim lazy summer loops
in my animal mind and disappear into the ethers.
it's hard to know sometimes
just what it is that you lack
and you think in nursery rhymes
and menus of yesterday's dinners.
songs gently land upon your ears
but you long ago forgot the words. 
there's a strange grey place
between love and anger,
pleasure and pain
where all the mind's rays fall silent,
and you can no longer hear
the tragic words of regret.

NEL 1/02