she has been calling me for a long time...the longing I would feel when looking out across some random field...return...return...return. my pockets have become emptier and emptier, my link to the normal world fainter and fainter. things just don't matter to me anymore. i watch people's lives come and go in a blink, consumed by need and want. people never turning off the tv, escaping the torment of their private thoughts or facing the emptiness alone. judging strangers so they will not have to judge themselves. i have become an involuntary nomad. there is no place that is truly mine. i own nothing, in the eyes of the average person, i am nothing. i have nothing of value, nothing that can be acquired. other than where it stands in the way of my dreams, i have ceased to care. i just exist. when i shut my eyes, lush green earth surrounds my body, enveloping my skin, the lonely places devoid of touch. water pours down from above to silently kiss my forehead. i could live here forever where the birds eternally sing.