inside singing
she has been calling  me for a long time...the longing I would feel when looking
out across some random  field...return...return...return. my pockets have become 
emptier and emptier, my link to the normal world fainter and fainter. things just 
don't matter to me anymore. i watch people's lives come and go in a blink, consumed 
by need and want. people never turning off the tv, escaping the torment of their 
private thoughts or facing the emptiness alone. judging strangers so they will not 
have to judge themselves. i have become an involuntary nomad. there is no place 
that is truly mine. i own nothing, in the eyes of the average person, i am nothing.   
i have nothing of value, nothing that can be acquired. other than where it stands    
in the way of my dreams, i have ceased to care. i just exist. when i shut my eyes, lush 
green earth surrounds my body, enveloping my skin, the lonely places devoid of 
touch. water pours down from above to silently kiss my forehead. i could live here 
forever where the birds eternally sing.
NEL 6/05